DEAR ABBY: I recently found out that my 20-year high school reunion took place and I wasn’t invited. I’m still occasionally in touch with several friends from high school and easy to find on social media. I did attend my 10-year reunion, although I may not have received an invite myself because I went as part of a group.
I wasn’t very popular or close to the “in” crowd in high school, but I was social, albeit quirky. I’m sure it was a simple oversight, but I’m having trouble getting past this. I keep thinking about the trope of the loser in high school coming back to the reunion to shine.
Abby, I feel pathetic because I wasn’t even asked. I’m not sure I could have gone because I have two babies at home, and we are still somewhat COVID-cautious, but it hurts not to have been invited. Any suggestions for how to stop feeling slighted? — UNWELCOME IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR UNWELCOME: Think back. Did you sign up for the alumni association when you attended that 10-year reunion? I’ll bet you didn’t because if you had, they wouldn’t have left you alone and you would be receiving appeals for money and current information. I am pretty sure your omission from the guest list was an oversight. To prevent it from happening again, all you have to do is be proactive about making sure you are included in the next one.
DEAR ABBY: My common-law husband and my daughter don’t get along. Even though he is good with kids, she doesn’t want him around her children. The last time we were at her home, he got upset with me. He demanded we leave and went out to the car to wait for me. (I had told my daughter we were staying for two nights; this happened after one night.) My daughter felt he was disrespectful. She was upset and asked me what was going on. I became upset and my granddaughters saw me crying, which got them upset. My daughter then informed me she doesn’t want him around her kids again.
Now, a year later, my husband still will not acknowledge any wrongdoing, nor will she. I’m stuck in the middle. He has threatened that if I spend time with her, he will spend time away from home. I am not choosing him over my kids. How can I handle this? — JUST WANTS PEACE IN CANADA
DEAR JUST WANTS PEACE: Handle this by stepping out of the middle. If you want to see your granddaughters, visit them alone. If your common-law husband follows through on his threat to spend time away from home, that would be the perfect time for him to do it. If you can’t trust him while you take a little family time off, then you don’t have much of a marriage — common-law or otherwise.
DEAR ABBY: My niece just had a baby. She’s going to marry a man who has two children. I will be sending money to her child on birthdays and Christmas. Should I do the same for her husband’s children? — UNCLE J. IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR UNCLE J.: That would be a lovely gesture. If you didn’t, it could cause resentment when the children become old enough to realize they were being treated as “less than.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
