DEAR ABBY: I have failed in a 30-year relationship and as a father of five. After feeling terrible for a number of years, I was finally diagnosed with a blood disorder. I was prescribed a chemotherapy pill and, two years later, was diagnosed with extreme neuropathy. Depression set in. I let myself go and rarely got out of bed. My wife complained because she wanted me to be more involved with the children, but I failed.

We are now going through a divorce. I have been cut off from my 13-year-old son, and I don’t know how to reconnect. He’s the youngest of my kids, and he’s very special to me because he is adopted, as was I. I need help. I’m not good at asserting myself. Please help me because my heart is broken. — NEEDS HELP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR NEEDS HELP: The individuals who can provide the help you are looking for would be your divorce lawyer and a licensed mental health professional. The former will see to it that your legal rights as a parent are enforced; the latter can help you become more assertive as well as, hopefully, reconnect with your youngest child. Your heart may be broken, but it will heal more quickly if you start now.

DEAR ABBY: Out of nowhere, my husband announced he thinks we should unfriend each other on Facebook. I got upset and told him it would make me feel insecure about us, because I think there is no reason for it. I find it very suspicious, and if there is a reason, I think we should split up. He unfriended me anyway. He called me closed-minded and said I value Facebook over our marriage. Is he right? — SOCIAL MEDIA-MINDED IN GEORGIA

DEAR S.M.M.: No, he’s not right. Your husband’s announcement was a red flag. When a spouse does what your husband has done, it’s usually because he doesn’t want his partner to see what he is posting and doesn’t want to be monitored.

You need to discuss this further so he can explain his reasons. If the discussion is not productive, offer your husband the option of counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he refuses, consult an attorney so your interests will be protected.

DEAR ABBY: Our church has a potluck every Saturday. How do we deal with the freeloaders — an adult family of three — who never bring anything? They jump up to be first in line, don’t help clean up and never fail to take leftovers home with them. They act like they deserve free meals. We are a small church and could use an extra dish, help in cleaning up, etc. Thank you for your advice. — OUTRAGED IN OREGON

DEAR OUTRAGED: “Someone” — preferably, but not necessarily, the religious leader of your church — should take the family aside privately and explain the “rules” to them. It may not happen until the rest of you complain about what’s going on. If that family cannot afford to bring a dish, the least they could do is assist with cleaning up.

DEAR ABBY: My bride of two months, whom I love dearly, is very negative every time we try to make a plan. Whether it be traveling or house projects, she puts roadblocks in the way. Nothing gets accomplished, so I let her take the lead, and then nothing happens. She reads her book and does nothing. If I start a project after waiting to see if she’s going to do SOMEthing, she wants to throw a monkey wrench in my project. What do I do? — STUCK IN PLACE IN FLORIDA

DEAR STUCK: If you don’t want this to be your future, what you “do” is confront your bride before this destroys your marriage. The behavior you describe seems like passive-aggressiveness on her part — and it isn’t healthy. Marriage and family therapy to help improve your level of communication would be money well spent.

DEAR ABBY: I had an unfortunate incident at my son’s wedding 11 years ago, for which I feel people are still judging me. I was sick in the months before my son’s wedding and had just returned to work. The week of the wedding, my husband was in the hospital. He was discharged the morning of the wedding, with IV antibiotics to be given at home by me for several weeks. The wedding was big and beautiful. Classy.

During the reception, my husband’s family read a poem they had written about my husband’s medical problem to those in attendance. I was upset and decided to calm down by taking a walk around the neighborhood. While I was walking, the dance with my son was called, but I wasn’t there. Instead of rescheduling for when I returned, my mother-in-law danced with my son. This was deeply upsetting to find out afterward. I don’t think my husband should have let his mother do that. What are your thoughts? — CAN’T LET GO IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR CAN’T LET GO: I think what’s past is past, what’s done is done, and you should stop dwelling on something you cannot change. If there is fault to be found, you all own a share of it. Now let it go.