DEAR ABBY: My adult granddaughter, “Kaia,” is in a relationship with “Jenny.” Jenny’s stepmom doesn’t believe in gay marriage or homosexuality. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that Jenny’s family doesn’t accept Kaia or allow her in their home. Kaia is excluded from all holidays and family functions.
I don’t know what to do or say to her about this. They are getting married in two months, and Jenny’s family is still shunning her. How do I deal with these “holy rollers” who use the church as a reason to hate my granddaughter? I don’t want to die knowing she’ll have a miserable life ahead of her. Please help me. — SUPPORTIVE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SUPPORTIVE: If Jenny’s family are truly good Christians, they may not dislike your granddaughter. They may be following a misguided directive to love the “sinner” but hate the “sin.”
I cannot advise strongly enough that Kaia and Jenny discuss the ramifications of that family’s stance BEFORE they marry. I am surprised Jenny would attend family gatherings from which Kaia is excluded. If this continues after the marriage, it could damage their relationship. A counselor at the nearest LGBTQ center would be helpful in facilitating this discussion.
Be as supportive to your granddaughter and Jenny as you can so they know you’re always in their corner. Encourage them to cultivate their own “chosen family” as they move into their future.
DEAR ABBY: The season of pleasant weather and outdoor concerts is approaching. Invariably, we end up sitting by the chatterboxes. These folks seem oblivious to anyone else, including the performers and the rest of us who want to enjoy the performance. I realize these are free concerts, but I don’t want to have to listen to these rude people. Any suggestions for silencing them so we can hear what the rest of us came for? — DISGUSTED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR DISGUSTED: Keep your tone civil. You might ask, “Would you please talk more quietly? We are trying to enjoy the performance.” However, if they aren’t receptive to your suggestion, consider moving as far away from them as possible.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.