Can every conversation begin with a question? What if they were? Would communications be possible at all? Could you actually have a normal, whatever normal is, a normal conversation? Can every statement be turned into a question? Conversely can every answer also be a question? How could you get a second helping when you are asked if you want a second helping if all you could do is answer that question with a question? “Oh a second helping will be great but may I also have another napkin to wipe the first helping off my chin?” Well? Do you think a question only conversation is possible? Probable? Or even noteworthy?

Can anyone please help me to stop questioning everything? How do I stop this ever spinning cycle of question this and that with only more questions? Is there a secret way to exit this whirlwind?

Short answer? Nope! For some reason there are times when questioning becomes so prevalent that you just can’t move forward with, well with life. Instead of going with the flow, all of a sudden you might find yourself doing the, who, what, where, when, why and how thing. Oh I understand the need, want or desire to question everything. It’s good to question stuff to be safe and sure. But, yes a “but,” but I do hope that you don’t question things so much so that you miss or even complicate the experience being questioned about. Here’s the story…

I was asked to help a situation along by putting my two cents in the mix. At first I thought I could help the situation along by calling one guy or e-mail another guy. My first response when something is thrown at me is to jump up and do something. Anything to help, relieve, fix a boo-boo that has occurred. I think that is human nature. Be the fixer, superman, uh superwoman. Sometimes though it might be just as productive to sit and wait. Question yourself as to just how much help is too much help. The question is, how much questioning of a situation is too much questioning? I mean sometimes delving too far into a situation will just make the situation more visible when just letting things work themselves out over time is a better option.

Like the story of the sleeping bear–A guy sees a sleeping bear but notices that one leg is askew and it just doesn’t seem right to not try to get the bear in a more comfortable position. After all when the bear wakes up that poor leg will be all misaligned and will hurt the bear. So the guy grabs a stick to slip under the bear and move the leg out to a more comfortable position. What a guy! Not unlike me being asked to make a call or send an e-mail to help a situation that too seemed askew.

So the guy starts to work on the leg. Pushing and pulling and fussing with the stick. But then the bear notices the poking and prodding, roars to life and eats the man! Oh the leg was fine, it was fine when the bear went to sleep, it worked well when the bear ate the man and it worked well in the spring when the bear woke up after a long winters nap. The man however! The man should have known that just because you see something that you think is askew? Question whether you need to do anything about it. Sometimes it is just better to just not poke the bear!

I didn’t do anything about the situation. I didn’t make a call. I didn’t write an e-mail. After talking the situation over with a trusted friend I thought it a much better idea to not poke the bear. Over time I will be able to tell if my decision was right. But for now it is right not to question what happens to someone else, something that will eventually work out how it will work out without my questioning stick getting stuck in the mix.

So do pet the bear when he is sleeping. Coo and Aha and say, “Oh poor bear.” Hope and even pray for the bear to not have to deal with pain and frustration. But if someone is asking you to poke the bear? Well question this- What will be the outcome of you poking your stick where it isn’t supposed to be? Could you “bear” the outcome?

Trina lives in Eureka. Share with her at Really!